Boston Globe West – October 29, 2009

The violent deaths of William and Jane Wyman of Newton last week, allegedly by his hand in the home they shared for decades, shows the need for more communication and education about domestic violence, said several local social workers and advocates.

Police believe William Wyman killed his wife of 65 years early Oct. 20 and then stabbed himself to death. He left a note describing what he had done, and notified a relative about it before the apparent murder-suicide, authorities said.

Newton police said they had visited the couple less than a week earlier for a well-being check, but had never had any other reason to believe anything was amiss with the Wymans, both 86, who were remembered by friends in their neighborhood near Lasell College as friendly and interested in music.

Many particulars in the case have not been made public.

Lisa Tieszen, co-founder of the Stop Abuse Gain Empowerment, said, “There is so much we don’t know right now. We don’t know about medical status, or mental health status, or intimate details of the marital relationship – we don’t have all the pieces.’’

The problem of domestic violence among seniors is significant, according to Jane Doe Inc., whose statistics show Jane Wyman was the state’s 20th victim of domestic violence homicide this year. Eighteen percent of the 2009 cases involved a victim who was 60 or older, the domestic violence education agency said.

Domestic violence among seniors is an under-studied issue, but social workers believe it “takes a more persistent, but less lethal’’ form when a person has been in a long-term relationship, said Roberta Rosenberg, executive director of the Second Step, a Newton domestic violence service agency.

Middlesex County District Attorney Gerard T. Leone said reaching the elderly has been an evolving priority for his agency’s Family Protection Bureau, which combats abuse of children, the disabled, and the elderly. “Older people are one of most vulnerable victim populations,’’ he said.

Leone said seniors in their 80s can present a special challenge.

“These are members of ‘the Greatest Generation’ who are coming from a very different time,’’ said Leone referring to the book of the same title that heralded the accomplishments of the World War II generation.

“They dealt with family discord and issues much more privately back then,’’ he said.

One of the challenges, advocates for battered spouses say, is that because domestic violence was so poorly understood – and rarely discussed – before the 1970s, members of the World War II generation “don’t even have the language for it,’’ said Tieszen. “It isn’t even something they can name.’’

There is often a tendency among victims to blame a neurological event, like dementia or a stroke, for a partner’s violent behavior. Sometimes seniors will minimize unhealthy behavior in an intimate relationship out of embarrassment or privacy, or fear of being removed from their home or hospitalized.

Erica Noonan can be reached at enoonan@globe.com